Social Outcast

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Edited by: Planetes

When Song Yuanxun returned to look for Zhang Ranyu and Zhou Meng, he reflected on his own impulsive, meaningless action.

Through the dating app, he had been chatting with Fang Zhaomu for over two weeks.

For the first week, Song Yuanxun had used “freezing out Fang Zhaomu and stopping Zhao Han” as an excuse, but by the second week, not only did he not manage to freeze him out, the frequency of their messages even increased. On the weekend of the third week, Zhou Meng and Zhang Ranyu had asked to borrow Song Yuanxun’s car, saying that they wanted to go shopping in the city. Song Yuanxun himself also did not know why, but he lied that he had something he needed to buy as well, and drove them to that supermarket Fang Zhaomu had mentioned to him the night before.

Not long after they entered the supermarket, Song Yuanxun saw Fang Zhaomu.

Fang Zhaomu was pushing the shopping cart alone, and in the cart was many items. His hand was on the handle of the cart, his body leaning forward slightly, and was leisurely strolling down the aisles. His head turned from side to side, as though looking for something.

Fang Zhaomu stopped in front of a shelf. Zhang Ranyu and Zhou Meng happened to be heading in that direction, adn Song Yuanxun naturally followed behind. He vaguely saw Fang Zhaomu take a photo of something, then his phone vibrated.

“Isn’t that…” Zhou Meng too noticed Fang Zhaomu, and opened her mouth uncertainly.

Their feet did not stop, and when they drew closer to Fang Zhaomu, Song Yuanxun heard Fang Zhaomu say something with his back facing them.

“Are you busy with work?” Fang Zhaomu asked. “Did you remember to take your lunch?”

Song Yuanxun stared as Fang Zhaomu moved his hand, probably letting go of the voice message button. Almost immediately, Song Yuanxun’s phone vibrated again.

Fang Zhaomu’s voice, without being digitally compressed, sounded even softer and more gentle. There was a liveliness and cheerfulness to it, and he was happily teasing the Andrew who he thought was working overtime.

Of course, Zhou Meng and Zhang Ranyu also heard Fang Zhaomu’s tender words. The moment after Zhang Ranyu sniggered, Song Yuanxun saw Fang Zhaomu turn his head towards them. He watched as his smiling mouth flattened, and the cheeriness in his eyes fading away, only leaving some wariness and annoyance.

To Fang Zhaomu, Andrew and Song Yuanxun was definitely different. Fang Zhaomu’s cheerfulness was for Andrew, and had nothing to do with Song Yuanxun himself. Fang Zhaomu did not consider Andrew’s suggestion to hitch a ride from his classmates, and when he walked past Song Yuanxun, he also did not keep up a friendly pretense. One second ago, he was complaining about Andrew’s reluctance to meet up, and in the next second, he limped forward, his eyes never turning towards Song Yuanxun.

Song Yuanxun was also unsure of what exactly he was doing then. He held his car key in one hand, and his phone in another, standing at the passageway outside the supermarket. He watched as Fang Zhaomu’s things scattered across the ground, watched as Fang Zhaomu walked towards him, then walked away. With complicated feelings, he looked at his phone, reading the sweet messages Fang Zhaomu sent to Andrew, then looked up and watched the back of Fang Zhaomu.

He had only thought, as classmates, it would not be a problem if Fang Zhaomu had asked for a ride — if Fang Zhaomu had difficulties, and wanted to take Song Yuanxun’s car back to school, Song Yuanxun would not reject him.

Fang Zhaomu was already standing at the outdoor bus stop. The wind plastered his thin sweater against his body, and made Song Yuanxun feel that at this moment, Fang Zhaomu had a little forlornness to him that would make a person feel flustered.

In the evening, Song Yuanxun had dinner with Zhang Ranyu and Zhou Meng in the city, inviting some of his city friends as well.

Song Yuanxun was not a sociable person, but people would always respond to his invitations. The meal ended at 9pm, and as Song Yuanxun and Zhang Ranyu both had drinks, Zhou Meng drove them back.

Song Yuanxun was a little drunk, and the image of Fang Zhaomu, walking away with his head bowed, refused to leave his head. Not knowing what to say, he then lied to Fang Zhaomu saying that he had finished his overtime, and could go home already.

Fang Zhaomu naturally expressed his sympathy. He then told Song Yuanxun, as his things were too heavy, and the bus stop was too far from his place, by the time he reached home he was so tired that he fell asleep on his bed for two hours, and was about to take a shower now. He even took a photo of his wrist that had turned red because of the bags and sent it to Song Yuanxun.

Fang Zhaomu was very fair, and the red marks were very obvious, looking as though he had been assaulted.

Song Yuanxun was dizzy, and did not know what he was typing. He only knew that he had sent a “it look as though you’ve been bound up”, and “I can drive you there next time”.

When Fang Zhaomu was done with his shower half an hour later, he only responded to Song Yuanxun’s first message, calling him a pervert, then asked him, “Why do you never send any photos to me.”

Song Yuanxun had not come up with a response yet, then Fang Zhaomu sent another message, “It should be mutual, I’ve sent my photos to you, you should send yours to me as well.”

“I’m not good looking.” Song Yuanxun took a long time before he sent this reply.

“It’s fine even if you don’t take a photo of your face,” Fang Zhaomu slowly said. His voice drawled, his words unbroken, and sounded a little dreamy. “I’m also an ordinary person, and am not especially good looking. If you send me a photo, I’ll also let you see how I look like with the ear studs.”

Zhao Han was on a vacation, and was woken up by the vibration of his phone. By the time he woke up, the phone had stopped vibrating. Zhao Han paused for a few seconds before he looked at it. Song Yuanxun had called him twice, then sent him a message. “Where did you find the profile image that you used on the dating app?”

Zhao Han scratched his head as he replied Song Yuanxun. “A few pages into google search for muscles and shirt.”

His reply was sent for only a short while before Song Yuanxun called him again urgently. Picking up the phone, Zhao Han immediately asked, “So hardcore in the middle of the night, gays aren’t disgusting anymore?”

Song Yuanxun was quiet for two seconds before telling Zhao Han, “Not as disgusting as you.”

“Oh,” When Zhao Han comprehended it, he said, “That means it’s completely not disgusting at all.”

“I didn’t find that photo.” Song Yuanxun did not continue, and went straight to the topic.

“Why are you looking for that?”

Song Yuanxun did not respond to his question, only saying, “Look for photos of the same person, and send them all to me.”

He hung up immediately, not leaving Zhao Han any moments to ask anything.